GQ's Fashion Cent$
I’ll admit, I read GQ magazine. Why not? It’s a pretty cool men’s magazine, and every issue features most of the things in life that I’m currently interested in: sports, music, books, politics, gadgets, electronics, cars, women, and yes, men’s fashion.
In fact of all these topics, GQ devotes most of its pages to men’s clothes – suits, shoes, jeans, shirts, pants… everything a guy would wear. And since I’m a guy, and I typically wear clothes, I’m interested to see what the trend setters at GQ think are the hot men’s clothes at the time.
There’s only one problem though… Everything GQ displays in its fashion pages is ridiculously expensive. I mean, REALLY expensive, so much so that I imagine the only men in this world who could afford these looks aren’t wasting their time reading GQ; they’re probably navigating the Mediterranean in their 100-foot yachts or hobnobbing with other rich folks on the sidelines of Polo matches.
Take last month’s issue, the one with Tom Brady on the cover. In this one, there’s a lengthy piece on gray suits to wear for the fall season. Perfect – it’s fall, I could use a new suit or two, and now GQ is going to show me what’s hot to trot so I can dress to impress in my weekly business meetings.
OK, first suit: Hugo Boss, light gray, two-piece, single-breasted… $1,400. Umm… let’s check out the next one…
Second suit: Calvin Klein Black Label, dark gray with slight pinstripe, two-piece, wide lapel… $1,795. Turning the page…
Third suit: Zegna, medium gray, three-piece suit with narrow fit… $2,045. Alright, self-worth fading a bit…
Fourth suit: Gucci, midnight gray, two-piece with subtle pinstripe… $2,800. You know, I could really go for some Top Ramen right now.
Fifth suit: Thom Browne, light gray, two-piece with three buttons, short lapel… $4,395. Who the f*ck does Thom Browne think he is charging $4,400 for a jacket and pants? Does the suit include an X-Box? A first-class ticket to Dubai? The first three mortgage payments on a new house?
After giving up on the suits, I skipped a few pages to a nice spread on dress shirts. Okay, this could be helpful, as I wear dress shirts every day to work and often on the weekends. Let’s see what GQ recommends:
Shirt #1: Some English brand -- $395…
Shirt #2: Some Italian brand -- $425…
Shirt #3: Some English and Italian brand -- $595… ¡Ay, caramba!
What gives GQ…? What are you trying to prove displaying pages and pages of men’s clothes that I won’t be able to afford any time soon? Are you trying to tell me I should have pursued a gig in investment banking, or that I will never be the epitome of cool seeing I can’t afford a $5,000 suit?
And again, who the f*ck is Thom Browne? F*ck you Thom Browne! And what’s with the extra “h” in your name? Who do you think you are with the weird name… Prince?
Good grief. I’ll see you at the sales rack at The Gap.
